The Tortoise of the Expendables by Jurani Cempron

It was indeed insane.

The “Insane Tour” - is an annual event organized and hosted by the Alliance of Mountain Trekkers and Adventures or famously known as “AMTA”.  It is usually held every last Saturday of November and the 2016 event is their 15^th times.  The goal is for the participants (members and quest) to tour around the island of Cebu by mountainbike taking its coastal road, from Minglanilla towards northern part of the island and then head down south before going back to Minglanilla, in a shortest possible time.  Considering that members had their respective comfort zones, teams were created which by then was the Warriors, Phoenix, Gurkha and the Expendables.

My first attempt – 2015 insane tour, “failure”.

Comes the last years event.  As early June of 2016, the EXPENDABLES (my team) started our practice.  At first it was “RIDE LESS, DRINK MORE BEER” moments, to which I rarely joined the “ride” part and frequently the joined  latter, in each and every occasion.  We were, as if, getting ready for war, we formulated strategies, techniques and even organized a counterterrorism (idiom) program, seemingly designed for foreign and domestic threats; thus, the creation of the “Expendables Elite”, their mission was to conquer within the shortest TIME possible and for the remaining members, our only goal is simply the to “FINISH”.  Time had come that it was “ALL RIDE, NO DRINK” situation, only that, I was still in the “drink more” mode.  I barely joined practice rides, and if I did, I either I finished last or won't finished at all.

In all honestly, it once came to my mind not to join the tour for lack of practice, lack of confidence, lack of motivation and the absence of almost every essential qualifications of a tourer had to possess.  I was very skeptical about joining and, thus, I missed practice rides because of such low self esteem feeling.  I told my family and teammates (closest friends) on how I felt about everything and how I look myself down in this line of sport called biking/cycling.  That the sport isn't for me and I rather be playing badminton (my sport before cycling and I'm good at it, so to speak).  Despite everything, my family and friends never gave-up on me.  Luckily, they never did.  My friends shared their heartwarming advises and motivational stories, made me feel that I am not expendable to the “Expendables” and that I'm as important as any other member of our team.  They made me believed that I deserved to be called a “Tour Master” and that they needed my positive emotional state as their morale booster.  My family, on the other hand, never loose hope, they encouraged me to join the tour and that they will support me all the way, no matter what.

One day, in all of a sudden, my heart was pounding, my mode was set on a different perspective and my willpower was incredibly different.  I was excited, I was determined and motivated to join the tour, full of hopes, and not just to join but to finish.

Since, it is physically impossible for me to practice everyday with my bike, due to work and with the limited time I had. On 15 September 2016, I enrolled in a fitness gym and ask for a program, not for muscle building, but rather, specifically designed for strength and stamina.  Together with my officemate, everyday, after office, we went to the gym to workout.  It was hard and painful at first, but eventually, I got used to it.  I played badminton, basketball and/or run if given a chance, for cross-training and ride my bike even alone during week-ends.

Comes the dawn of 26 November 2016, the moment of truth and the trill is on.  The passion of insanity has began.  As I was preparing for the real deal, I took time to ask myself “Am I ready for it?” and I bravely answered “YES I am” with full of confidence.  Yes I am ready, emotionally and mentally ready.  Even spiritually, having attended a mass at Sto. Niño the day before, seeking God's blessing and protection against any kind of harm along the way.  However, the question as to whether or not I am physically ready, remains unanswered.

My tools and necessary equipments were ready, my things, provisions, vitamins, medicines and power boosters were al  ready and my most of all my wife's GIANT mountain bike was ready.  Everything were ready and all are set to go.

Saddle... I heard a commanding voice, after the prayer, and then at exactly 4:08 in the morning the INSANITY had begone.  About 40 ATMA riders and guests pedaled gently towards north of Cebu.  Our team maintained a normal pace until we reached Catmon and had our breakfast.  With no time to waste, were back immediately in the saddle, passed Bogo, under the blustering heat of the sun, down to Astorias, where we had to take a short rest and eat our early lunch.  As we were approaching Toledo City, we encountered strong and heavy rains, but we never let the treacherous rain get in our way, not until we had to stop for our dinner.  Next was the killer climb of Aloquinsan to Mantalungon (Barili), from 7 team members, we were down to only 4.  That time, we were already exhausted, tired and our butts hurt so much, literary “i had a pain in my ass”.  But the four of us were so determined, like nothing can stop us from achieving our goals.  Pedaling through the night, in a very slow pace, we arrived at the beautiful Allegria, where we had to took an hour rest and waited for the comfort rooms to open.  After our bathroom brake, we then continued our journey/agony, passed Santander, where we had our breakfast, then to the rolling road of Oslob, where the sun shines bright to our direction.  I was desperately riding alone starting from Boljoon, after I had a flat tire, down to Alcoy (where my group waited me for lunch).  From then, I, unknowingly, was left behind by the group as all the others went ahead of me, because I was then very weak already.  Now comes Carcar, a very dangerous 40kms left (more or less) to the finish line.  My fatigue and tiredness already defies any description.  I could no longer control my balance, I was hungry, but my appetite doesn't seemed to care, I vomited due dehydration and as a result I was disoriented and felt like I was floating in the air.  The possibility of collapsing and passing-out is quite high and imminent.  But despite all the potential risk, I kept myself composed as gently pedal my way towards the end.  Next thing I knew I was already at the AMTA station at exactly 6 o'clock in the afternoon of 27 November  2017 (Sunday) with an official record of 38 hours of insane biking with no sleep.  As I've reach the finish line, I immediately grab my wife, hug her tight with tears in my eyes and told her that “It was indeed insane” and I was more than insane to ever tried it, that I had enough and will never do it again.

From that moment and until present, I felt thankful to God, to my Family for the support and motivation, to my AMTA Family and to Team Expendables, for without them, I could not have experienced such an Insane thing and there would be no stories for me to tell.

            Until my next tour, which remains to be unseen.

Even in my practice I stopped to chat with friends along the road. By Romeo Delima

This happened years ago.

Even in my practice I stopped to chat with friends along the road, like this morning when a speeding racer passed at my back. I cut the talk and pedaled fast finding a carrot. Trying to catch a racer is a herculean task for a mountain biker.

Luckily the lean roadie have his rhythm favorable to mine. I sensed that he was in a good mood and not waiting to be provoked. I did catch him, and side by side we pedaled. No contest. We talked.

I found out he was an AMTA member of the previous generation, or the earlier version.And he was an RP elite triathlon athlete. He did gave me some tips on stamina and endurance enhancing.No doping, of course.He has a higher goal than mine.

I may not be aiming high, my goal is different from his, but I am aiming right. It may be a difficult shot but by all means I am aiming perfectly.In life, we have different goals, and we might be side by side with other guys.High aim, low aim, or whatever, let us respect and applaud upon hitting the marks.You all know what I meant.Good luck to each of our endeavor.

The dreaded Round South (2016) - By Romeo Delima

Director's Cut

November 12,2016

4:30 dawn

As our traditional round south practice is a week before D-day, it was moved two weeks instead for recovery reason. I tried to counter the move 'coz it was to early for that, but numbers won.

Anyway my team Gurkha will have to replace that schedule to another round north or the like.We started the exact scheduled 4:30am ride with prayers. The weather was perfect, everybody seemed perfect as we went along.

I knew everybody even in semi-darkness- their body built, their sizes, their ways of pedaling and body postures, and their voices.

Before we reached 5 kms, Noy Eli was flying. He was doing a needless and insignificant move vying for a pointless positioning to a pointless position behind the early fast starter Dondon Merto and the insane Ernie. But Noy Eli and Dondon soon had to fade away behind as the pace got faster.

Now the elite of Expendables, Bryan Michael Enad, Sandy boi, Michael, my onced-domestic Arnie, Abski, and Dexter were on the move to join their teamate Ernie Loreno spearheading the breakaway.

I, along with Billy, Jurani,Regan, and Gerard Francis dropped the two dropped bikers (Eli and Dondon) somewhere before San Fernando.

I strongly told Billy to stay with me at the start, but I know he won't be restrained for awhile. I let him breakaway at the Guadalupe ascend, and he knew where to wait for me. He is such a climber.

Gerard Francis was behind me in the climb but had to excuse himself for a faster pace and later caught up with the escapees.

Regan, who was recuperating from an ailment, passed me on the plateau of Guadalupe as I was lingering after the climb. He was amazingly stronger and faster than I expected him to be.

Before the milk station, three musketeers joined us, Nestor and his cohorts. Exchanges of pleasantries were made, then I bade them to go ahead as they were visibly strong yet. They will be breakfasting at Alegria while we at Dumanjug.Phoenix captain Gaya and John Carlo Amparado, who were late and were not at the start caught us up before Dumanjug.

At breakfast, we learnt that Rye Kido was at Barili chasing us. He was late to the schedule also.

I requested Bryan Enad to let Sandy boi ride with me 'coz at his tender age he might not handle their constant fast speed. Bry agreed.

I told Dondon to wait and accompany Noy Eli who was left behind.

Now I have two domestiques, Billy and Sandy boi who were both 14 yrs old and classmates. I am their protector, though.

I offered Allan Leon Pujida if he was willing to go with me. He was smart not to go with us, he has his own comfortable pace.

Then off we went. Next re-group is Alegria as was ageed. While others were still at their breakfast, came newly energized Noy Eli at the bend. He has his meal along the road before Dumanjug. I told him to stay with Dondon. And that was the last that I saw him in the tour.

Capt. Gaya and his group ( Jurani, Reagan, unknown one) together with my domestiques were intermittently passing each other for awhile until my unit led far distance from them. That was our last contact. No bikers at Alegria. So the lead pack had another plan.

We pushed until somewhere in Alegtia-Malabuyoc, we spotted them. Flat tire for sure. We passed them with acknowledgement and then push ahead. Now I had plan too. We wont until Santander.

We felt that we are now the lead pack. But too soon enough, our quick flirtation of being the lead pack was blown away their overtaking maneuver. We were surprised not of their speed but in the number of bikers. We thought that all were left behind by us but two did not stopped during the flat, that insane Ernie Loreno, and that more insaner Gerard Francis ( nobody follows Crazy Ernie when he sprints).

My responsibility was to bring my two domestiques as fresh as they started and unleashed them at Argao. I knew that the lead pack was suffering and needed longer time to recover by their constant fast pace.

Though they were fast, we were inly less than 2 kms apart. My two domestiques were aware of that fact. And that kept them alive.

A I promised tI the two, we arrived at Santander for lunch 15 mins before noon. Together with all the lead pack we lunched. Nestor and company joined later.

In less than an hour we started homebound. Then with newly refuelled body, another almost 140 kms to be conquered, we pedaled again.

The climbs at Oslob and Boljoon was punishment enough to our aching body. But soon the pain and agony became an integral part of our being that it became a spiritual thing. We wont stop. We can not be stopped. At least that was our plan. Next stop was Dalaguete. 4pm. we arrived there. Again, no lead pack.We took our dinner. And we took our time, too.

At 5pm we started to pedal towards Argao, towards home and no more stop. We had pedaled 180+ kms for 12 hrs, and what is 66 kms homeward bound? Chicken. But halfway Dalaguete-Argao, with my malfunctioned headlight and Sandy boi had none at all, I had reservation to the scenario.

Bryan Enad and his lead pack was in Argao tired and spent too, called and texted us if we decided to quit. He was worried about Sandy boi, even though he had a motorbike assigned to assist us all the way. He was worried. I was protective to my two minor domestiques. I din't give up. I didn't give in. I just changed my mind.

Two kilometers before Argao, the insane but good samaritan Gerard Francis picked us up.

And happily we rode home, forgetting those left behind for a moment. Anyway, the pain, the agony, the suffering in biking can become a spiritual to one.

Every biker is a happy biker, especially those who suffer.

Long live long ride.

As of this posting, I have no idea about noy Eli's story. But I know it s a better one.

The Round North Practice 2016 by Romeo Delima

Director's Cut

The round north practice

November 5, 2016

The night before, all was probably monitoring the development, or rather the hope of underdevelopment of the typhoon/storm.

I woke 5mins before my alarm rung. I am proud of my body clock that alarm clock is only a safety net.

It rained then drizzled at dawn, then it stopped that gave hope to start our dawn tour. After donning my jersey, the rain literally poured, my wife smiled and was happy for the clear cancellation of the tour.

"Miramos, esperamos, decidamos, atacamos."

"Let's see, let's wait, let's decide, and then let's attack."

I went back to bed still on my cycling form less the shoes.

I texted Bryan Bohol Lastimoso to cancel the invasion.

Shortly after my back hit the cushion, the rain stopped. I waited, then I re-decided to attack. I texted Bryan Lastimoso to cancel the cancellation.

We will attack, disregarding the weather.

At the station, an insane biker, Allan Pujida was already waiting. He was waiting for his baptism of water, the rainy round north.

Six bikers departed the station, 35 minutes late of schedule.

We were joined by Chino Bitamor later somewhere in Mandaue, who dropped his 8 month baby in a cousin's temporary care.

Now we were 7. The seven insane, or for a moment I fondly called us, the Magnificent 7 Insane bikers.

It was expected that visitor bikers will be waiting at Consolacion but they missed the peloton.

Later at Danao, another 3 AMTA bikers joined us, the Canonigo family.

I spearheaded the small pack at a humble 23-26km/hr.

We reached Logo junction at 10am, and another insane biker from Lapulapu (Nestor Sabalan), awaited us for 1-1/2 hrs. already thinking that he was chasing us until he learned that we were late in departure thru the net. Dondon Merto was monitoring the tour.

At Tabuelan, and again for the second time, Chino Bitamor separated himself from us for a reason ( his baby, of course).

BTW, We were already soaked, and Billy was experiencing the ball of fire on his feet. A whole lots of wiggling, and a change of dry socks eased the discomfort. And he was flying again.

The normal pacing with essential short stops like peeing and flat tires made the small pack endured the long stretch without so much agony in preparation to long climb of the killer mountains, the Media Once and Poog.

We arrived in Toledo at 3pm and let Nestor Sabalan to continue for his long journey home. Chino Bitamor who left earlier at Tabuelan was in Landing, more than an hour and a half gap.

Arnie met us at Magdugo who told us about Chino. I was climbing at 6km but wanted to go faster so I hired Arnie a little push to the two climbs. I was doing 11km. Better. Arnie went back for struggling Abski to aid but he was refused. Bravery in the midst of agony.

Billy was waiting at the foot of the great descent for half hour already. And we pedaled our way home ahead of the last four bikers behind in the pouring rain, in the dark.

Night riding was new to Billy. I was very protective, but soon realized that he was enjoying it.

A night riding in the pouring rain with a 200+ kms on his speedometer was more joy to him. He was ecstatic.

Glad I was there, side by side, to experience it, too.

We arrived safe.

We survived, safe.

And so, too, with my small pack.

Another epic ride.

Round North 2015 - The Practice by Romeo Delima

Director's Cut

From the Archive of my memory Saturday, November 14, 2015 Round North- The practice Bikers started to arrive early for logging in, for final instructions, and for sneak little bite. Pleasantries were made to everyone,afterwards there will be no time for serious talking on an early ride.

We started to departed AMTA Station 5:00 dawn with more or less 20 bikers (if my memory serves me right). From an ease pace of 16 km/hr, it kept on ascending until 25 km was attained. Bikers who have no front lights relied mostly to the blinking of the tail light of the front biker. And the latter knowing his responsibility shouted every now and then a series of commands, warning for potholes, parked car, pedestrians, obstacles, and danger. That, is an eternal ethics of the front man. Some who wanted to go fast when strong broke away as early as it was started. The lead pack was headed by Jingjing Canonigo.

I was excited about this tour because it was known that visitors will meet then accompany us. I was with the peloton the whole morning.I learned later that Dondon Merto quitted in Mambaling in less than 30 minutes of pedaling. He was in agony. A month ago in a traffic jam, even at a slower pace, he made a sudden fistful of brakes sending him over the cockpit and dislocating his collar bone.

My eagerness to meet the visitor bikers turned to desperation for the ambushed the lead pack, and took their fast pacing. I can't catch them until Tuburan, our traditional lunch oasis.

Luckily enough, they were there. I met two legendary bikers, Chino Bitamor with his loyal RB, and Rye Kido with his fixie. I concentrated to the fixie wonder. I was told the there two fixies who collided with each other. So Rye was the lone fixie doing the tour.

Up close and personal with a fixie biker, I still could not contend my amazement with this thing, and so with the biker.

How could this thing go on with what we are doing? Preposterous! I have my mtb with 27 gear combinations. This fixie has 1. I have my ever loyal brakes, front and rear.He has no brake, none at all. How could it compete us.Are these people courageous, or just plain insane? But the respect was already instilled in my being about this people. I watched him closely, but Rye warned us not to come closely to him.

Later at past 2 pm when we arrived at Balamban, Chino Bitamor announced that he was in a hurry and knew a short cut home, the dreaded wall of Transcentral. Is this man showing off to us, or again, was just plain insane. A short cut? Yeah, perhaps a short cut that will surely cut the appetite of fine biking.And he did turned left and climb. Of course he lives to tell the story with selfies, too, Off we go.

Again Rye was with the lead pack to face the media once and the Poog climb. I longed to see how he will do it but I was too far from him, yet. So that was not possible. As was too tired. As I approached media Once, I jogged atop my pedals. I was bonked.

In awhile, I was flying. Now I saw a familiar figure appearing in the curved road. The fixie biker was doing a 3 km walk uphill while I was doing 30 km/hr.

Of course I was riding a motorcycle up.What a joke to me.

We waited for Rye at the foot of the last big downhill. Eveybody was waiting, including Dondon who quitted early and just went to meet us.

We waited for him to see how downhill was to be managed with a no brake bike.

He came.

We saw.

We were conquered by a fixie biker.

He was a smoker. I asked him for a cigarette, it was perhaps a Mighty brown. It tasted like the odor of a car refreshener ( tree shape) hung in a car. It was awful. But the ride was epic.

Some truths about Insane Tour by Romeo Delima

1. This tour has no prize. It is priceless, indeed. Participants may perhaps agree to make trophies, medal, citations, or the likes after the event but it has to be decided by the Chief executive of AMTA and his cohorts.

2. AMTA holds no responsibility in case of accident or incident that may cause liabilities on its part. We don't own the road, so every biker is responsible for himself.

3. AMTA may act sometimes as social butterfly to guests, but do not rely on it. Come and go prepared.

4. This tour is not for showing off, pretenders should stay away from this tour.

5 This tour is a sufferfest- pain, agony, sleeplessness, numbness, purely suffering is the order of the day. But afterwards suffering is most gratifying, it clears the mind, it cleanses the soul, and brings joy to the heart.

6. This tour is a foretaste of two stages of le tour de France. But two continuing stages. Whatchathink?

7. Nobody is born professional but one can strive to be one. This is a chance.

More truths.....

The Insane Tour '16 By Tour Director - Romeo Delima

Director's Cut

The Insane Tour '16 (La loca vuelta '16)

We, participants, have diversified ages, attitudes, trainings, disciplines, gears, way of life, devotions or religions, political views, strengths, etc but regardless of all these when we start to pedal this tour, we are bounded to a certain code of ethics that real Tour masters have been traditionally abiding.Below are the unwritten simple rules that will be applied to each biker. No one will impose it but yourself.Simple rules and regulation:

1. No planned or intentional drafting on any motorized vehicle. Accidental/coincidental drafting is allowed to lucky guy. No grabbing or holding on any vehicle.

2. Towing or pushing is allowed. It is heroic.

3. Of course, wear always helmet.

4. Obey traffic rules. Road courtesy is a must.

5. If it is possible, start at the starting line for registration and documentation.

6. It is recommended that you go on pack with support and logistics. Lone biker must be protected through support vehicles at night.

7. Wear something for good visibility, and for others to know you are a part of the tour.

8. Inform your whereabouts during big stop. You will be given a cell number to contact thru text stating your team, time of arrival, and place. You will receive too, information of others. Always be true, concise, and honest in your info.

9. Please extend goodness to solo biker whether in trouble, lost or "nitira" by adopting him for hydration, fuel, or the likes.

10. Have photos, videos, and groupies.

11. Sign waivers.

12. Be safe.

13. Don't worry, be happy. Be a happy biker. Additional minor rules may come up later, just stay tune. Don't change dial.Please be guided.

Thank you, tourers.

Romy Delima Tour Director